Emotional rescue

I’ve been in a bit of a slump the past few days, which usually happens to me when I start “restricting” my diet. (And by “restricting,” I actually mean eating properly and not gobbling down whatever garbage I want!) The first few days are always the roughest, and this time is no exception.

That’s the thing, really. I truly want to get out of this destructive cycle I have of eating/drinking wine in an attempt to alleviate whatever stresses are in my life. Work, finishing a masters degree, and the death of a family member all pushed me over the edge this spring, and I got through each day surfing waves of coffee, cheese, carbohydrates and wine—and not necessarily in that order!

Of course, I know that this is neither healthy nor sustainable, so back on track I must go (as evidenced by the “leaner” portion of this blog). So why does it make me feel so blue?

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m really just sticking to three rules—eating real food, no food after 7 p.m. and writing everything down. But I’m not cutting out any food groups or types at this point. I don’t feel mentally ready for that.

Last night, I went for a run with my two running friends. We run several times a week, plus we’re all in the same exercise classes, so suffice it to say over the past few years we’ve become pretty close. We talked about just this topic, and it came down to this exact thing: emotional eating.

Now, this isn’t true for everyone—I do know lots of people who aren’t emotional eaters. But I also know a lot of people who ARE, and I’m definitely one of them. Unfortunately, my husband is also one of them, so together we are a lethal combination. When one of us is down, the other is quick to use food for consolation.

I’ve tried for years to get to the bottom of my emotional eating and it would seem I can’t. (Ya think?!). So for the next few weeks, I am really questioning everything I put in my mouth and asking myself the question: “Am I really hungry?” If I’m truly, tummy-grumbling hungry, then I should eat. (And again, I need to be aware of WHAT I’m putting into my body.) But otherwise, I need to really look at what is emotionally driving me to eat.

This isn’t something I’m going to overcome in a week or a month. It may take months, or a year, or it may be something I never truly get a handle on. That’s part of this whole “cleaning” process. But I’ve started. I want to get back to that place where I feel better about myself. I’ve been there (check out my marathon picture from 2010 – I’ve never felt better) and I can get there again.

Can I get back to this place again? (I’d like those arms back please!!)

How is everything else going during this “summer of George?” Well, the last few days have been busy with the minutiae of daily life and some job stuff that cropped up. (I don’t feel like getting into too many details, but suffice it to say it was more than a lack of food making me blue these past few days.)

Workouts are on track, as always! (Here’s a shot of me teaching a class a few weeks ago—yes, I’m in the middle of 100 squat leaps.) Later this week I want to post some thoughts about exercise and how it fits into this, but I’m sticking to my usual routine.

Squat leaps – oh joy!

I’m debating adding some more yoga to the routine. Went to my friend/trainer/all-round-fitness superstar Sue Abell’s Balance, Core and Flow class for the first time on Friday and was reminded of how GOOD yoga is for me. I’m looking at joining Climber’s Rock here in Burlington (with a 60 days for $60 climbing and yoga membership) to try and get more yoga in, but as of yet haven’t gotten up off my butt to do so. Maybe by Monday I’ll be ready and more into a routine with my new eating plan.

Lastly, on the “leaner” front, I have been diligently journaling my food intake using the My Fitness Pal app on my phone. Yes, it is something of a calorie counter, but it also takes into account your workouts, so I figure if I try and stick somewhere around the 1,500-2,000 calorie range per day, I prevent myself from overeating. (You know… I make sure the “treats” don’t go spiral out of control).

The cleaning project has suddenly slowed down after finishing the front hall last week. I said I was going to start on my bedroom this week… and, well, I haven’t. I think I will tackle my dresser drawers today, and hopefully get to the closet tomorrow. Friday will be pre-empted by the “regular” weekly cleaning (dusting, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the bathrooms, etc.), but if I can finish sorting through all my clothes and all of the kids’ clothes by the end of next week, I should get back on track.

I’m also in the mood to paint my dressers… the old pine Ikea dressers have seen better days, and are a bit “country” for my taste. My sister-in-law recently painted some of her furniture with Annie Sloan Chalk Paint, and she swears by it. I have a bunch of furniture I’d love to paint (or repaint) so I may have to try it out.

In need of some fresh paint?

And maybe some new knobs?

I still haven’t gotten around to reflecting on the “greener” portion of this blog, but that is also coming in the next few days. For now, it’s time to pull myself out of my little slump and stop feeling so sorry for myself. Life is good – it’s time to make it even better!